Taking Up Space

It has been a practice for me to take up space. I was the kid who got in trouble for talking in class, who was called “boisterous” (I had to look that one up in the dictionary when my 6th grade English teacher labeled me as such), who was always told to be quiet. I learned that it was not ok for my voice to take up space.
 
We are conditioned by our culture to not take up space. When I was a kid, I remember playing this game with a friend where we would “sit like a lady”—crossing our legs, sitting up tall, all prim and proper while we batted our eyelashes. Then we’d say “sit like a man” (in a deep voice) and slouch, spread our legs, and man-spread (long before that was a term in our vernacular). This was in elementary school!
 
Throughout college, dating, early career, and marriage, I can think of dozens of times I didn’t ask for what I wanted, or advocate for myself. I went along with whatever the class or my boyfriend or my husband wanted. I took whatever salary was offered and said yes to any opportunity I was asked to do. I was being a good girl, going with the flow, and not taking up too much space.
 
And then I got tired of it. I realized I wasn’t living the life I wanted, and had missed out on so many opportunities that were easily within my reach if I had just reached for them. Or asked for them.
 
I practiced asking for what I want. I let others be uncomfortable if I was talking too loud or taking up too much space. I finally realized that it had nothing to do with me, and that I was not responsible for their discomfort.
 
One of the ways I learned to take up space was intentionally spending time in spaces that invited it. I made friends who appreciated the bigness inside of me. I joined networking groups that asked me to literally put myself out there, on stage, in the spotlight. I attended a monthly moon circle during the year of IVF, pregnancy, and Sky’s birth that let me be who I was on that particular day—which was often tearful or grieving or scared. I practiced taking up space.
 
I’m hosting Full Moon Circles throughout 2023, and my hope is to create this kind of space for you. That it is a place that you can come and be seen, ask for what you need, and take up space.
 
The next gathering is on Friday, January 6. I’m planning a playful yoga practice so we can practice the embodiment of taking up space. There will be an invitation to participate in ritual and share in the circle of community. You can bring your full self, and show up as much or as little as you’d like.
 
And of course, we’ll celebrate the moon shining in all her glory—taking up space in the dark night sky.
 
I hope you can join.